Have you ever been so scared you could just die?It started when I went to a family bonfire at my uncle Alan’s farm, we had a metal band (unite the silence) playing in the backyard , everyone their drinks in their hands singing along to the music, the bbq flaring with tender steak sizzling away, the sounds of giggling children floated through the air like butterflies.
It was dinner time, we all sat down and ate our food made by our amazing cooks, everyone was talking away about the latest gossip in the family.After dinner, everyone sat down and roasted marshmallows while soaking up the heat projected by the flames. The marshmallows melted in my mouth gooey and delicious, I could feel the warmth flowing through my body like I was rapped in a warm blanket tiring my eyes.It was getting late, we got sent to bed and all of us lay on the couches in the lounges talking until our eyes started to clamp together.
Dani….wake up come, ”said a quiet voice as I slowly tuned into the world around me.I saw my cousins standing around.”Get your coat and shoes we are going for a walk.”Natasha my older cousin told me where we were going as I put my shoes on”Remember how were joking about sneaking to the abandoned house at the farm next door?”Tash said,”oh man really….. ok I’ll come.”I replied in a weary voice.My stomach tied itself up as my aunt had told us about how she saw something moving at that house we all thought she was joking I didn't though but I sucked It up and we started walking.
As we got to the house we could all see that we were all scared but Natasha and her brother Zack kept it well hidden.We had been there for about 10 tedious minutes before we actually went inside.The door screeched open we knew that the house was decrepit. The floorboards creaked as we took the first step the crackling the old kitchen pots violently dancing with the wind pushed us to the edge of our nerves.After searching the house to see what was there we decided to play a game of hiding and go seek.No one really wanted to, but we decided to be bold and tough and do it.Zack was in 1,2,3,4, I sprint to a ragged old shearing house not realizing I was alone I jumped the fences and hid behind a tower of hay bales with only the moon as my light as I sat in a nest made of hay.”I’m gonna get you.”A voice whispered in the distance, everything went quiet I was alone the wind was whistling through the holes in the roof and the sound of the fences tinkering together taunted me.The darkness wrapped its arms around me holding me tight, all of a sudden I heard a loud bang.The shed door slammed shut and I wasn't able to get out.Someone was coming but It wasn't zack I heard him trying to find Natasha and Jaz in the distance.Someone else was there with us, I had to get out I could get through the hole in the roof while being quite but also getting cut up or get the saw and saw a hole in the wall?My head was spinning My heart was racing My blood was pumping and adrenaline flowed through my veins.I decided to take the easy way out.I rapidly grabbed the hay bales and stacked them up as quietly as I could and crept up them slowly but surely But I had underestimated the size of the hole and I knew there was no way I was getting through It without getting seriously hurt.I grabbed a hammer out of a worn-out toolbox to try and chip away the rusted edges of the hole to try an make it wider.It worked I jumped onto the roof and climbed down a pole that I found on the side of the shed and started running.It started chasing me I was scared out of my mind until the chaser came into the light,” found you” said everyone they were all looking for me they all came up with a master plan to scare me.”Haha…..good one.”I replied sarcastically.
I learned not to let my thoughts get twisted up and learned a few survival skills along the way.
Really well done, Dani. I can feel the sense of adventure and panic you must have felt. I especially like your use of fresh and interesting vocabulary. It is clear that you are writing with the intent of engaging your audience. To improve, make sure you carefully proofread your work. There are missing full stops throughout. Also make sure you put a space after end punctuation, like full stops, question marks, etc., before the next sentence.
ReplyDeleteYou are working around the middle of curriculum level 5. Ka pai!